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Winners and Losers from This Yr’s Oscar Nominations

Winners:

The English Primary You Dated in School Who Wore Plenty of Windbreakers and Chain-Smoked: as a result of he indisputably works for A24 now.

Lydia Tár: she is actual.

My Textual content Thread: we’re stuffed with critiques.

Disney: as a result of Baz Luhrmann sounds confusingly very similar to Buzz Lightyear.

Hollywood: I listen that the Oscars are form of its largest evening.

Other folks for Whom the Phrase “Snub” Is A.S.M.R.: snub.

The U.S. Army Recruiting Progra—I Imply, “Most sensible Gun: Maverick.”

Losers:

Louis B. Mayer: who made up the Oscars to check out to make business execs compete towards one any other as a substitute of unionizing, however they unionized anyway. Take that, ghost of Louis B. Mayer!

Me Individually: as a result of I truly need to prevent speaking about “Avatar” and “Most sensible Gun.”

Cancel Tradition: cancel tradition, an actual factor, is not any fit for Lydia Tár, an actual individual.

Girls: the Oscars have determined that girls, after two years of them being nominated and successful, have had a just right run of it.

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