Watch A Young Child Tells Their Mother “I’m Not a Girl” | The New Yorker Documentary
[film reel rolling] [piano key playing]
[Child] I’m trying to figure out how to put this in words.
[Woman] Take your time.
Have a little talk,
and I said,
I’ve been hiding this for a long time.
And you said, Okay,
and you accepted it.
I feel like one of the best times
you ever really understood me and my gender was
that very first evening, I think.
[Child] It was so hard keeping that secret.
[bell ringing] [bird chirping]
I never intended to tell you.
I felt like I shouldn’t.
I mean, like, even I was doubtful.
I’m just a little kid. How would I know?
And then my brain went and took over, and said,
You’re doing this, and I went ahead and said it.
And I didn’t mean to tell you, but now I’m so glad I did.
Do I really care what everybody thinks?
[Woman] Mm-hmm. Yes.
Everybody on this earth, every human being cares
at least one tiny thing about what people think about them.
[Child] But if you still have that heavy weight
of caring about it too much,
then it will stop you from being who you are.
[bicycle spokes ticking] [light music]
[Child] I thought I wasn’t ready.
‘Cause it was kind of overwhelming to tell you.
And talking about it,
I was starting to feel overwhelmed again.
‘Cause I’m just feeling that come back to me.
[Woman] Do you need a push?
[Younger Child] Push! Do it to me!
‘Cause like, it’s probably the best memory I have,
telling you I’m not a girl for the first time.
But it’s probably the worst, too,
’cause that was so hard for me.
[Woman] I’m sorry it was hard.
[wind chimes ringing]