Culture

Florida’s Surgeon-Common Nominee Urges CVS to Inventory Leeches

TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Joseph Ladapo, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s nominee for surgeon common, stirred controversy by urging the pharmacy chain CVS to hold leeches.

“The traditional Egyptians used leeches in medical remedies greater than three thousand years in the past,” Ladapo stated at his affirmation listening to. “In contrast to some quote-unquote vaccines, leeches have stood the check of time.”

Ladapo stated that he was dismayed when he just lately visited a CVS and located “loads of masks and check kits, however no leeches.”

“There wasn’t even a leech aisle,” he added, shaking his head.

Praising Ladapo for “considering exterior the field” to fight the pandemic, DeSantis confirmed that he was mulling a leech mandate for Florida’s faculties.

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