SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Document)—Elon Musk has been seething with envy over the media consideration garnered through the Chinese language secret agent balloon, the Twitter C.E.O. printed.
“I don’t get it,” he stated. “I’m tremendous cool and fascinating, and it’s only a freaking balloon. What does it even do? Simply silly balloon shit.”
“Almost certainly, if the balloon was once operating Twitter, other people can be keen to come back into the place of work as an alternative of running remotely,” he endured. “Oh, yeah, everyone simply loves their valuable balloon.”
Musk disclosed that the feeling the balloon has created is making him believe turning into a balloon himself.
“Handiest I wouldn’t be some dull balloon like that one,” he stated. “Possibly I’d play song or have flashing lighting fixtures, like at a rave. Folks can be, like, ‘Elon is this sort of freaking cool balloon.’ You’ll see.”