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Dick Cheney Provides to Shoot Down Long run Balloons

JACKSON HOLE (The Borowitz Record)—Demonstrating his dedication to conserving The usa protected, former Vice-President Dick Cheney has introduced to shoot down all long run balloons that mission into U.S. airspace.

“I haven’t touched my looking rifle in a couple of years, however dealing with a gun is like using a bicycle,” he stated. “You simply select it up, and, blammo!”

Cheney stated that he was once ready to observe the skies for international balloons and, the instant he spots one, “I’ll use my patented looking methodology: purpose, squint, fireplace.”

The previous Vice-President stated that he was once venerated to participate in a geopolitical combat he known as the Conflict on Inflatables.

“Both you’re with us, otherwise you’re with the balloons,” he stated.

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